Our front door was always left open for a reason.
Sunglasses on at night – it wasn’t because I was cool but because the sun hadn’t set. Here this far north, the sun only ducks down past the horizon for an hour or two. Even when it does, the skies are still lit by the glow of it hiding just past the north seas horizon.
“AOUCH” I yelled as the cigarette between my fingers had caught up with my gawking at the sky, once again.
“What what what?” Said my friend Anja whipping her head to see what I had done.
“It’s nothing, this stupid cigarette caught my finger” I responded whipping my finger like I was trying to shake the burn away.
“Gi det til meg” she said reaching out for my finger.
She put my finger in her mouth which I thought was weird, pulled it back out, blew on it and said “see. All better.” She smiled at me waiting for me to say, or do… something.
“Tak?” I said a confusedly, only rubbing her spit off my finger after she had turned back around to continue her conversation with the rest of our group.
Now if you haven’t picked it up by now, I’m in Norway. I’ve come here to work on my book which has been taking far longer than anticipated by both me and my editor. She thought that getting away would be good for my productivity and suggested I get away for a while to write. I suppose she meant go camping for a weekend because she was not happy to find out I went 6000 miles away without a return flight.
I came to Norway when I was younger and fell in love with the scenery and the commonplace demeanor that seemed to be a part of nordic culture. Janteloven – the universal etiquette that seems to vibrate at the same frequency I do. Coming here when I did, 23 and wide-eyed, felt so comfortable that when I thought of somewhere I should go to dive in deeper into myself, Norway felt right. Luckily I got the timing right and it’s June not January.
The bar Anja had brought me to was on the waterfront, propped up on old wooden stilts which seemed both ready to fall at any moment but also sturdy as 1000 years. Little white lights were strung up above us and in between every other table or so there was a tree growing up through the floorboards. She was talking to a whole group of people that surrounded her from inside a hanging chair suspended on one of the tree branches. I was struggling to understand what they were talking about. *quick, they’re laughing…
I audibly forced a laugh showing them that I was still there/following along.
Not trying to brag but I’ve gotten very good these last two weeks at smiling and laughing when everyone else laughed. To be fair, Anja would always recap for me after a convo was over.
“Okay Matt. You know what they said, yes?” She looked at me and I nodded “jaa…”
“They wanted to know if you are my family or if we are sleeping together.” She giggled.
My face went red. “Oh so what did you say?”
“Well, I said we haven’t figured that out yet.” She said as she punched me in my shoulder.
I’ve been staying with Anja these last two weeks in her apartment in Oslo. It’s apparently super uncommon to have your own flat here in the city on account of the ridiculous rent prices. What is less common, even for Europe I’d argue is sharing a bed with a complete stranger. My first night here was a bit awkward, yes. I slept on the floor of her room with her dog Hati who albeit adorable, is not the stillest creature. He kicked and crawled over me all night long providing me with one of the most interesting and terrible nights of sleep I’ve had in ages. A day or two later after spending more and more time with Anja, we fell into a better more comfortable dynamic. One drunk night out on the town and accidentally falling asleep with her in bed broke down that last familiarity barrier and now we’ve come to share the bed like an old married couple. Her calling me over to brush my teeth and start our new nightly ritual. Sleeping next to someone attractive like Anja and not having sex is a first for me. I’d be lying to you if I said I hadn’t thought about it but for the first time in a long time, I’ve got a best friend. I don’t want to screw it up.
“Oh, okay.. yeah I would have said the same thing! Good.. yeah good.” I said confirming what she said for the both of us. I asked her if she wanted a cigarette and she looked like she had some sneaky idea when I did.
“Nei takk” she said before turning back to her friends to say “Hei Emma, du bør røyke med Matt.” I saw she was talking to one of the girls and heard my name but the rest was too fast to make out. The girl she was talking to, the only one who didn’t introduce herself to me in the group, was blushing as Anja spoke to her. The guy sat next to Emma looked at me intensely, probably due to the fact that he had his hand on the back of her chair waiting for the moment to put his hand down onto her shoulder. He wouldn’t be able to now. She got up and walked over to me still blushing, taking my hand – it was warm – without slowing down and pulled me over to the other side of the deck away from the group. I looked back and saw Anja grinning at me from the spot Emma was just in. The guy tried to get up and all Anja had to do was grab his arm. He sat back down immediately.
Emma had taken us about 20 meters away to the end of the deck, away from everyone else that now seemed to be centered around where Anja was. She grabbed the pack of cigarettes from the front pocket in my t-shirt and pulled one out. The lighter lit up her face in a blood orange and she was beautiful, now – and then. She didn’t pass me the cigarette like I expected but instead put it in my mouth, making sure to lightly touch my lips with her fingers as she did. I took a drag once she took her hand away and waited for her to say something. I waited-
-another 15 seconds went on of her watching me as I smoked, not saying anything before I handed the cigarette back to her. Now it was my turn to … stare at her? Why hadn’t she said anything yet.
“Sooo, deg heter Emma?” I said as she exhaled the cigarette.
“Yeah my name is Emma. And you’re Matt. Just Matt?” She said without any accent like I had come to expect here.
“Yeah, just Matt. So how do you know Anja?” I asked her taking the cigarette back from her and walking over to the dock railing.
“Everyone here knows Anja. How do you know her is the real question.” She said walking over to rest her elbows on the railing next to me.
“A friend from university set us up. We only met two weeks ago.” I said looking out at the water watching the little waves lit up from the moonlight.
“That makes sense” she said flicking the cigarette out into the water.
“Anja really likes you and I want to find out why” she said turning and grabbing my arm to squeeze it. I thought it an odd gesture so went to pat her on the back playfully when she leaned hard into my arms and stuffed her face into my chest, hugging me softly.
This was weird right? The whole thing. The not introducing herself, the being told to come smoke with me, the part where she said ‘she wants to find out why.’ She stepped back and pulled her head back from my chest and reached up for my face. She kissed me. She took a big step back and said forcefully – “Faen I helvete!” Her face was red again and she reached back in to kiss me again. I didn’t stop her but did wonder what the hell was going on. This time I grabbed her back and kissed her. We were there maybe 5 minutes, snogging our brains out before someone came over to “smoke” which inevitably triggered my anti pda response. I pulled her in for a hug smoothly I thought and tried to play it off like we had just been hugging.
The gesture bothered her I am sure because she audibly scoffed and walked back over to the group. She plopped down next to Anja and started whispering into her ear. I stood there with my hand on the railing looking everywhere and nowhere all at once as the guy stood 2 or three meters down the railing.
“Hey you’re Matt? Yes?” He said calmly as he looked out over the water.
“Yeah. And you are?” I said turning around to look out over the water as well.
“Jonas.” He said after exhaling a silver plume.
Jonas was tall and mysterious. Mysterious because Anja seemed to avoid him but he was around anyways. He looked older than the rest of the lot and like he was always ready to leave wherever we were. Anja had just introduced him by his name not as her friend, nor how she knew him which was the only introduction of the sort that I received about any of her friends. He’d have been intimidating if I noticed him more often but this was the first time I’d heard him speak.
He walked up closer to me and spoke quietly “So, what brings you to Norway?” The question seemed so off-brand and I’d say more interrogative than inquisitive.
“I’m here to write.”
“Ahh yes. A writer. Anja says as much. She says you are working on a book? What about?”
“well yes, I’m working on a book. It’s not come along as well as I would have liked. Anja seems to be keeping me much busier than I thought I’d be. – No complaints though! It’s been lovely meeting her friends and getting up to all that we have.”
“yes she seems to have taken a real liking to you. It’s great for Anja to have a friend like you but you are just friends yes?” He asked illuminating the reason he chose to speak to me at all.
He looked at me for the first time as he asked presumably to try and read my face as I said “yeah Anja and I are just friends.”
It seemed to hit and he nodded, flicked his cigarette like Emma had, said “good” and walked back down the deck.
“Good talk” I said out loud but quiet so that he couldn’t hear.
I shrugged off the awkwardness of whatever the hell that was and made my way back over to Anja.
She was sat down on a couch and when she saw me, pushed Emma over away from her and stretched her arms out like she wanted me to go and hug her. I did, and when she hugged me she smelled of vodka and strawberries. She left her hand on the back of my neck as she continued to speak to the group in Norwegian. One of them got up after she pointed at them and said something I couldn’t understand. Anja was drunk and I’ve come to learn her tell. She turns into a little director, always telling people what to do and where to go – a wonderful thing for me on account of my constant struggle with being indecisive. Normally, and without the aid of alcohol, she’s sweet and considerate. After her 4th, maybe 5th drink, she starts orchestrating. She demands for their to be fun rather than encourage it.
The guy she had pointed at had come back with a tray full of shots which made me groan. Anja caught me and pulled at the back of my hair, smiled in my face playfully yelling “En, to, juletre Denne her går loddrett ned.” The rest of the lot all finished the chant with her and she took one of the shots for herself and poured another in my mouth patting me on the back as I swallowed.
“There you go! That’s my boy” Anja said as I coughed from the shot.
“What the hell was that?” I said through coughs.
“Brennevin! It’s good, no?”
“Yeah it’s good. Holy hell though. It feels like I just drank fire.”
She had grabbed for my hand and was holding it in her lap. “I’m going to bring Matt home tomorrow to meet papa.” She told the group. Everyone perked up and suddenly seemed alert and like the drunk had just got up and left.
“What?” I said.
“Yes, I want you to come meet my family tomorrow. It’s not a big deal.” She said squeezing my hand in her lap.
Nobody said anything except Emma who patted me on the back and said “lykke til.”